Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
