A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
as a side note pls kill me
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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