If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
not ubering you a puppy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
