can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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