the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
