yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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