I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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