Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
