whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This is my gift to your gina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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