plz talk dirty to me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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