So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
