Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
