Sry I called you an 8
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
