Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
