You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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