I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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