Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
