check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
