That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
