she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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