Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
