But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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