walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
