Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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