sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
