I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A+ Viking dick
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize