that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it penis luge time yet?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
