just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
