your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
