So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
