if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
