I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
