Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
