we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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