were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
