i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
