Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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