Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
