So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
