I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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