i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
