I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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