the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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