everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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