i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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