Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
