Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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