You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My feet surprised me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
