You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
