and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
