I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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