Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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