how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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