when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
