STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
