Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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