I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
