Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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