we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
