Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Someone shit on the floor
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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