is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
