guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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