Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
