When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
