I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
