Duck Duck Cougar?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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