very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
