Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
