I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
