the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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