walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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