a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would fuck him just for his dog
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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