Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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