my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
