He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
