Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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