I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
