How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We left an ass print on the piano.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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