Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
