remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
