It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
