Will you blow on my dice?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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